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Not really! Also how to upgrade your phone-based gaming, the stuff you should play this weekend, and what in the world is a Sega Saturn.
Hello there! This week on Press Any Button we’re taking a look at the best vice-style non-wireless controllers you should stick on your phone so you don’t get stuck playing Farm Heroes Saga, bemoaning some egregious in-game advertising, and accepting that normal people can’t recognise the Sega Saturn by sight. Also lots of good game recs.
Anyone keeping a close eye on video game release calendars (I know, it’s only me) will be aware of the huge and widening gulf in the middle of this year, as in more or less starting now. The pandemic had a profound and very strange effect on development cycles, delaying game releases in a cascade that more or less kept interesting options spread evenly over the past couple years. But for a long time it was very hard to get new projects off the ground, and now we’re starting to hit the point where those non-existing games would have come out.
But not to worry, the bazillion of already-existing games continue to exist, and you haven’t played most of them, so get in the bunker where we’re weathering the next four months or so on a diet of ports, remakes, subscription goodies and overlooked delights.
Embrace the phone-as-Gameboy life
By Tim
Though smartphones did not kill off console gaming, as was widely predicted in the 2000s, they've made it so we never have to stop playing even when we leave the TV. Services like Apple Arcade provide quality original titles and a way to sidestep the gambling and extortion of mobile games. The likes of Xbox Game Pass let you stream from the cloud if your mobile connection is strong enough. Consoles and PCs let you beam your own games direct to your phone over your home network (or the internet, less successfully).
The problem is that touchscreens still suck for traditional games, and pairing a full controller by Bluetooth isn't practical. So here are my suggestions for non-wireless controllers to turn your phone into a one-stop commute (or backyard) ready games machine.
Android
Bulky but good to grab, the Razer Kishi is great for almost all Androids. Game Pass, Xbox streaming and controller-supported games all work great, as do many of Android's countless retro emulators. Sony mandates the use of a PlayStation controller for remote play on Android, but you can get around that with the excellent and inexpensive third-party PSPlay app.
Everything I’ve tried fits bar one phone: the Pixel 6 Pro (pictured) with its honking big camera bar. Fortunately the Kishi's rubber pads are removable, so I modified it with a knife.
iPhone
There’s a Kishi for Apple users, but they’re better off with the sleeker Backbone One. With small, precise controls reminiscent of the Switch, it works flawlessly with Game Pass, controller-supporting App Store titles and network streaming (even official PlayStation Remote Play).
I also like the Backbone app button that pulls all your supported games and services into a console-style home screen, so you don't have to go back into landscape iOS. The device also adds an honest to god 3.5mm headphone jack to your iPhone, and fits all iPhones from the past eight years.
What to play
Though not without its controversies, the Life Is Strange series is a fantastic example of how good narrative ‘walking sims’ can be. Life Is Strange: True Colours was one of my (Alice’s) favourite games last year, and now it’s on Xbox Game Pass so I strongly encourage everyone to give it a go. It’s slow, and has some major pacing issues, but I just love the story, and maybe you might too.
Also on Game Pass, check out neon retro point-and-click Chinatown Detective Agency, and there's a rare pair of PC-only Game Pass titles: World War II strategy Panzer Corps 2 and fantasy tactical RPG The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk.
Rogue Legacy 2 was just confirmed to be coming to consoles at the end of this month, so it's a good time to grab the original for cheap on pretty much any platform to get up to speed. It's one of my (Tim's) favourite roguelites, and sees you infiltrating a randomised castle in search of loot and massive bosses. The gimmick is that every time you die you can use the money earned to upgrade your family estate and get permanent buffs, then you choose one of your progeny to continue the quest, but everyone has humorous(?) afflictions like gigantism, alzheimers, dyslexia or prosopagnosia that affects play.
New this week on Apple Arcade is Gear.Club Stradale, which is a transparent but enjoyable mobile imitation of Forza Horizon with heaps of supercars, Italian countryside and a focus on playing with friends. There's also Sonic Dash+, a version of the really good Sega endless runner with no ads or microtransactions.
And if you wished Farming Simulator and Trucking Simulator had more building, then brace yourself for all that thrilling construction action in Construction Simulator 2 on Apple Arcade later this week. Is it good? I don’t know, I’ve never played. Will I (Alice) play it either way? Yes, obsessively. Join me.
If you’re hankering for a little sports action on Switch before Switch Sports comes out in a couple of weeks, then you’ll be pleased to hear that the original N64 Mario Golf is being added to the Nintendo Switch Online Expansion Pack. Somehow Nintendo has the ability to make you care about golf games in a way that 2K would sacrifice a major organ for.
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a really annoying ad…
By Alice
It’s a new Forza Horizon 5 season, and that means a new theme and new tasks. I’ve really been loving the new streamlined seasonal tasks; getting all the rewards is much more accessible and feels less like work, which is a fantastic improvement.
Season 6 is named Horizon Customs and focuses on Horizon Open Custom Racing and fan-made Eventlab events. The Eventlab events really showcase the community’s creativity, which is beautiful, and the Custom Racing is to make people actually participate in Horizon Open to earn those new badges.
I generally dislike multiplayer racing because I’m an only child who grew up in the country and find other people’s foibles inconvenient. Also, I’m not instantly perfect at it. However, the little badges are adorable, so I’m going to get to level 800 if it kills me. I guess Playground Games’ plan worked.
The thing that really annoys me about this season, though, is that there is a new Drift Club Mexico story. That in itself is wonderful; it’s the first post release story and more of those is always good. It gives you a points boost for every week during the month, helping your point total, so it’s probably going to be the most played story in the game.
All that is great. Love it. Amazing. The bad part is that the final chapter (which you have to finish to get the points) has some of the least subtle in-game advertising since whatever Death Stranding was doing with Monster Energy drinks. Did you know that the all-electric 2021 Ford Mustang Mach-E 1400 is a very good car that drifts and is the future of racing and is just so amazing? If not, here’s some dude from Ford to talk at you during an unskippable section of gameplay. It felt far too overtly ad-like, and was everything that’s wrong with Games As A Service.
Aside from that, though, it’s a good season and I’ll see you out there.
Bricks, Boards and Beginnings
by Alice
I have a confession to make, and it’s one that may get me kicked out of nerd circles: I’m not really that into Star Wars. It seems like one of those series that you have to start at the right time in your childhood and watch with the right people, and I just kinda missed the boat on it. I started with the prequels, which obviously weren’t great, and I have no idea if I ever actually saw the original trilogy, or just endless spoofs of them, but they didn’t really grab me either.
That said, I love how much people love Star Wars, and I really enjoy the complexity of the Lego sets, so the new Lego Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga seemed like a game that could get me into the franchise a little bit more.
To start with the good, I’ve always loved how collaborative the Lego games are. They really want you to play with loved ones, and it adds that extra scaffolding for less experienced players to have a great time while learning to play. The little moments of humour are great in them, too. Lego games really want you to feel like you’re a part of all the in jokes.
But the bad is that the game starts in a way that you have to already care about Star Wars and not be completely exhausted by the repetitive nature of Lego games to have a good time. That’s a mistake, because not everyone who is going to play this game is already sold on Star Wars as a concept. I can see plenty of parents trying to use this game to indoctrinate their kids, but the sequence running through the Death Star and then going to Luke’s home planet is aggressively meh and assumes too much knowledge and affection. Making a game that can be enjoyed by both converts and the curious is hard, and this is just too boring to be that. It improves later, but many players will already be lost before the game gets there.
Retro Esoterica
by Tim
Recently a stranger who was at my house to install something or other was admiring my wall of old game consoles, mostly the Segas. But one machine in particular drew an interesting response: “Uh, what’s that?”
It was a Sega Saturn, and her response wasn’t surprising. We’re very familiar with the Master System and Mega Drive here in Australia, and the Dreamcast has gained a following retroactively, but the poor Saturn has been somewhat lost to history. Blindsided by Sony’s PlayStation and rushed into a botched launch, it was on shelves in the West for only three years to 1998. Its small and quirky library is filled with early 3D ugliness and games that are better on other platforms. And yet, it’s a brilliant console to own in 2022.
First of all it’s an unparalleled 2D system for the time, with games from Golden Axe: The Duel and X-Men vs. Street Fighter to Saturn Bomber Man and Legend of Oasis stunning with pixel art and anime cutscenes. There’s a handful of classic shooters and on-rails action from the likes of Treasure and Sonic Team and unique (if inferior) versions of games you know from PlayStation like Tomb Raider, Symphony of the Night and Rayman.
Buying a Saturn and a few games is relatively inexpensive today, but as usual I’ve long since flitted away the kids’ future university money on something approaching the ultimate setup, which includes:
A Japanese Saturn (American would be just as good, Australia and Europe are locked to 50Hz).
A replacement internal power supply (so the Aussie electricity doesn’t explode it).
A wireless controller (mine is the licensed 2.4Ghz one from Retro-Bit).
A Satiator to play digital files instead of discs (there are other optical disc emulators for Saturn, but the Satiator is the easiest install and doesn’t require you to remove the disc drive.)
A quality RGB SCART. Mine’s from Retro Gaming Cables. Some people prefer the blurrier stock composite cables, and more power to them.